A Little Sister's World
by Kazzy
Summary: After the events of 'Freak Nation' Max seeks Zack's approval. ZackAdam is up!
1. Max

**A/N:** Been a long time since I stepped into DA. But here's a little contribution from me. 

**Disclaimer: **It ain't mine, but you know that as well as I do.

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**A Little Sister's World**

I have to wonder what Zack would think. In some ways I need to know what he would think.

This nation I've helped organise. This world that I've begun to build. Would he approve?

Part of me says, "who cares" and moves on. I survived ten years without him, looking after my own ass, watching my own back. Then I had Logan to help me watch it, and to teach me there was so much more to see, to do. Logan was the one who showed me I could take care of others. That I was good at it. That it could mean something to me. Until then I hadn't realised how much we had taken care of each other at Manticore. But I still wasn't thinking of the other transgenics as people, so it didn't count for much. But at least a few good people – some of who are looking to return the favour – are still alive.

Yet part of me stares up at the heavens and asks for Zack to come back and tell me I'm doing fine. Or at least how I could do it better. Alec's always ready to point out what I'm doing wrong, in that usual mocking way. Logan's my self-appointed conscience. Mole would never let me get away with anything. But another opinion never hurt.

Perhaps it's the memories, the past we shared, that not even other X5s, like Alec, could understand. Zack was my constant once, not omnipotent, but omnipresent. For all I didn't understand the emotion, I loved him, as I loved all my brothers and sisters.

I don't think the other transgenics know that. They are starting to see, but only just now. Did they love before? That is something only they can answer, and only when they've been around long enough to look back and discern for themselves.

Joshua loves. He's always loved. But Father loved him first.

Alec loves. But he had Rachel.

Gem loves. She has her baby. So, I guess that means she is the best example. Out of all the normal transgenics, she's the one that shows it the most.

Zack, however, loved so very much, and no one showed him how. He loved more than he knew what to do with. Love guided everything he did in the end.

From helping to rescue Case – even if he would never admit it – to giving his life for me. We never would have escaped except for Zack. Never would have attempted it. Why would we? There was no world for us beyond Manticore. It was hell, yeah, but it was all we knew.

Looking at me people would, and do, say I broke training the most. I was the insubordinate, the one who disregards rules left, right and centre. But Zack was the one who taught me how. He taught me how to see beyond the grey walls, and soldier commands. I don't think he knew what kind of a monster he was creating, but he did it anyway.

Without Zack, I'd still be accepting Manticore as a necessary evil. Even after the escape no matter how much I hated Manticore, how much I came to understand its evil, I still saw it as part of life, dogging my steps, crashing in on my party. Manticore was the devil, yeah, but I was a mortal, and not a match. I don't believe Zack ever saw Manticore that way. He may have temporarily accepted its supremacy, but even if circumstance hadn't forced his hand I think he would have taken the fight there eventually. He always did think big.

Without Zack, I'd still be accepting Manticore as my life. Sure, it'd be nice to say that I would have thought of escape, but truly? I've never been good at that big picture stuff. I live one day to the next. Only now can I begin to look at the future without having to keep my gaze firmly on back.

Of course, now I have to. Everyone's looking at me, expecting me to know what to do, what to say. I don't think the general population of Freak Nation has any idea how much I rely on people like Mole, Alec, Logan and Cindy to help me. It's all very well being one of these strong, intelligent leader-types, but I'm used to being a grunt.

That's what I want Zack. He'd set me straight so fast it'd make my head spin. He'd be self-righteous and demanding, he might even be wrong, but at least I'd get some approval.

Perhaps he'd even take it off my hands. Now that's a thought, the guy who led the first X5 escape in charge of a bunch of straggly soldiers who don't know what to do with themselves. That'd go over real well. I don't think they'd get he was the original freethinker. Maybe that's only something you can get if you're part of our group. Jondy would understand. Krit, Syl, Tinga. Ben. Even Brin.

None of them have shown up 'round here. Not that I know of anyway. Perhaps they're afraid. Perhaps they're mad – Zack managed to keep them all alive until I appeared on the scene. Perhaps there's a myriad of reasons why.

Until the very last Zack was insisting we go to ground, split up, and lie low. Better judgement suggests that we do that now, and I can hear the little Zack voice that sits on my shoulder telling me to go, to cut everyone loose before we're all killed. Freethinking or not, Zack knew his duty and he knew what needed to be done to make sure we were safe.

Still, almost everyone thinks we belong here, together. Maybe Zack would too. We're a bigger family. I doubt a cell phone and constant movement would save us now.

I really want to ask him if I'm doing ok. I really want to know. So, Zack, big brother, if you're out there do you think you could find some time that isn't about the mission and drop in. Just tell me I'm OK? You did once, and I'd like to hear those words again.

Imagining a new world, beyond these grey walls, it isn't easy you know.

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**_Please review._**

Your honest opinions mean the world to me.


	2. Jondy

**Disclaimer: **Dark Angel and it's associated themes and characters, sadly, do not belong to me. I created Roma, Les and Aban, but they're X5s, so aren't really mine at all.****

**A Little Sister's World – Jondy**

Zack saw freedom before any of us, but Max was only half a step behind. She was like that, always ready and willing to try something new. Something that expanded her mental and physical abilities.

Our little adventurer, always on the go. If she'd been born in a normal family to normal parents, she would have been called a terror. You know, one of those kids who doesn't stop from the time they get up until the time the collapse into bed at night. Like Roma's girl – just started crawling and she's everywhere all at once. Zane thinks we should show ourselves to Max, just so we can leave her to baby-sit. Justice at last.

Of course, it's probably a little hard to play a doting aunt when you're trying to build a new world. I guess you have to make some concessions when you're fighting for freedom.

Freedom. A word. A concept. An impossibility. Zack saw it first. Max saw it second. Ben took it and turned it fantastical. Eva saw its possibility. Ben was a storyteller, but like all good storytellers he needed somewhere to start. Eva was our planner, she may have been limited in imagination, but there wasn't a detail she missed. Zack's the visionary, but needed to find the potholes in his plans. Max was the devotee, the second in command, and the focus that Zack and Eva ran their plans through. She was the doer, and back then she would have done anything for Zack.

Perhaps when they gave her his heart, they gave her a piece of him, because when she speaks now, I hear him behind every word. She speaks with Zack's vision, turned into her own, and then into everyone's ideal. As second-in-command she has shown her worth, shown her ability to step up into the position of leader when ours had fallen.

Not that she notices I listen.

I'm not Jondy here. I'm Shade, an X5 who's spent most of the last few years on deep cover. Shade was on a mission when Manticore went down. The word about Terminal City blew through the country, via satellite, so she arrived as quickly as she could. Shade keeps a low profile here, and doesn't like company. I find her to be very lonely, but she does the job.

Shade is ironic, and it doesn't take much to see why. Shade, shadow, spy. What I am. A shade, a shadow, a copy: the darker, incomplete clone of an X5. A spy. A spy among spies. Yet they don't notice me, because they don't expect me. The only people who would spy here are either Familiars, or stupid. Familiars could survive here, but humans wouldn't, not for long. A Familiar would stick out. An X5 doesn't: we aren't particularly loyal to anyone other than ourselves, and general consensus is that we're one of the more independent, therefore inexplicable, series.

Still, one glance would tell Max who I am, and I'm not ready for that, not yet. We agreed that we would check out the place first. Check out what's going on. A decade of loneliness and hiding doesn't exactly prepare you for communal living. Everyone else took to it like a duck to water, but they're used to it; us rogues would find it a little more difficult.

I did point out that I would be particularly noticeable to Max, as we were so close when we were young. The others, though, had better reasons for not being there. A casual glance and Max might not pick who I am, but both Krit and Syl would stand out like sore thumbs. Roma refused on account of her baby; there's plenty of those here, but she wouldn't hear a word of it, and the rest of really weren't sure if we wanted to risk exposing the kid to the toxins here. No one knows where Aban is, and Les is trying to hunt him down. That left me and Zane. Zane said if Roma wasn't taking her baby, then he wasn't taking his damn dog. Wuss.

Watching is what I do now. Or what Shade does. Max, whatever else she is, is entertaining. She comes and goes, is involved in everything, knows everyone she spends her day with, and regularly bites the head of anyone who gets in her way.

Alec, the one with Ben's face, seems to cross her path most regularly. In a way, I think he's her second-in-command, informally lent the title, as she is the one 'leader'. He gets the brunt of her tongue, and isn't afraid to give as good as he gets. I don't know how she can stand having another man stare out of Ben's eyes all day, but they make it work. They make Terminal City work, with its crazy mix of transgenics going every which way.

Zack, I think, would be both proud and frustrated. She's done a bang up job of making this place into something real, and something liveable, something with a lifespan beyond tomorrow. But she's broken every rule in every book to do it. So very Max. She's taken Zack's dream, pushed it into something more and given it life.

Even Shade, in all her isolation, can't bring herself to disapprove.

Shade is dissolving, though. Undercover never was my strong point, and I can feel her slipping. Yesterday Max brushed right past me, spitting insults at Alec, who was returning them with fervour. I nearly spoke. All it would take one word and Shade would cease to exist, leaving Jondy as she stepped up, embracing her sister. Such an act would annoy my siblings, certainly, but gain me a best friend.

I want my little sister back. I want to tell her I'm proud, that I love her, and that I'm alive. I want to be part of Terminal City; no matter how much all these…people…bother me. I want Zack back, and Tinga and Brin and Ben. I want us to live in this city, this world.

Right now though, it is my duty to stay silent. The rest of us – the traitors, the rogues, the runaways – need to feel safe. And we can't do that, can't be that, yet. This isn't a world we're used to: we need time. But we're getting there.

Count down the days, Little Sister – we'll be here soon. You've built us a world and we want to see it.

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I'm thinking about writing a few more of these from other people in the series. This is the first time I've been bitten by a DA plot bunny in a long time and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! :-D

There's a lot of sentence fragments in this. I hope it doesn't make it too confusing. Drop me a line if it does. I appreciate any and all comments on work. Thank you.

**_Please review._**


	3. Alec

**Disclaimer: **Dark Angel and it's associated themes and characters, sadly, do not belong to me. Neither does Alec, dammit! ;-)

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**A Little Sister's World – Alec **

None of them know how much she falters. To most of Terminal City she comes across as 'Max, Almighty Leader', but they're so used to seeing an Almighty Leader that they wouldn't know how to see one who isn't. Even Mole in all his fiery omniscience hasn't noticed.

Even I don't see it all, but I see more than most. She hesitates before she sends anyone off on a mission, afraid of sending them to their deaths. Is this something she learned from her brother? Zack. 599. The first Almighty Leader. The one who lead the escape. Logan said to me once about her family meaning more to her than I would ever understand, and that losing any transgenic is like losing family. Guess he's right.

Max made me care about others, about other transgenics, and it isn't nearly so hard as I feared. It's sort of like slipping into a new jacket. Different, a little uncomfortable from lack of wear, but not unpleasant. Yet, I don't get her obsessive need to know her family, to know they're safe. A need that seems to extend to the rest of us.

Are the others of hers like that? The escapees, the ones that ran away? Do they care that much, as well? It's sorta frightening to think of a bunch of beings wandering around the country, caring about people like that. And I thought Max and Logan made a bad enough team.

If they care like that, where did they learn? Max told me about the escape and why they did it. She finds the whole memory confusing, but is very firm that it was right. _Best thing I ever did, Alec. I know it hurt everyone, but I don't think I could have spent my life there._ She pressed into me that it was Zack's idea though, very strongly. _Zack saved us. He's the one who said we should go._

How'd he do that?

Escape never once occurred to me. Never. Not even after I knew what the traitors had done. They were bad. Wrong. Something in their heads had been screwed up. We were the good ones, and we were going to stay at Manticore, because it was the right thing to do. Manticore was life. Manticore was right. Only they weren't so nice when they said it. _Traitor. Rat. Deserter._ Seeing your face connected with a horrible deed is disconcerting. Thanks Ben, thanks a lot.

Still, Ben was only following orders. They all were. Orders that went against the ones put in place by officers of higher ranking, but mattered more because they came from Zack. It's like the discussion I had with that kid – Bullet – Manticore was trying to kill them, damn what the higher-ups say. He didn't believe me anymore than I believed the rogues were right back in '09. Maybe it was self-preservation that made them run back then, god knows that's what it was for me when I saw those burning buildings. Or maybe the rogues just loved each other so much that they followed Brother Zack into the unknown.

Zack seemed obsessive when I met him. But I guess being part metal will do that to you. He was definitely fixated on Max, that's for sure. Scrambled memories, Max murmured to me softly, later, sadly, in that wide-eyed 'why does the world do this to me' kind of a way.

So, Brother Zack's the mystery. Why did one single X5 CO decide his squadron would be better on the outside? He was right, but how did he know? They must have screwed up badly, somewhere along the way, for him to be able to think that much outside their box. Funny what can happen if you're not careful with you genetically empowered individuals, isn't it?

I don't get him. But then I don't get Max either, so I don't have a hope of understanding Zack. They're the ones who decided to take down Manticore, and I still think they must have had their heads on crooked to think about it.

Logan seems to understand what's going on. That's why he still hunts down Max's family even though he has a hundred other things to do for Max, and for Eye's Only, and for Terminal City – the one person army that he is.

Unusual man, Logan. He's maybe the only person who really sees Max as being vulnerable. He doesn't get that she can take care of herself, Manticore made sure of that. They didn't make her so some crazy freedom fighter can try and watch her back. But still he wants to protect her. Maybe he's just seen her stumble more than the rest of us.

Between Max and Logan there's a year of their lives that no one here can touch, no one can know about. A year that everything happened and nothing got finished. OC knows, but then OC seems to know everything – how did one human get so clued up? But there was a year, a year of Max and Logan fighting the good fight, protecting the weak and generally making a nuisance of themselves: for the world in general, and Manticore in particular.

Looking back now, I have to say that I'm glad they annoyed Manticore. It's sort of good to think someone was willing to hit back when I couldn't. Funny, Max was watching our backs before any of us noticed. I guess, indirectly, so was Zack. Weird pair.

Is she aware of how much she's given us? I'm not sure she is. Max appreciates her freedom for what it is – even if she's uptight about it sometimes – but she's so used to getting bitten for everything she does, she kinda expects it. First Logan, then Zack, (me), Sam, and just about everyone else: 'Hey Maxie, you're doing it wrong!'

Except she's the one who got us this far in this new world, so I guess that means I should say 'thank you'.

Maybe tomorrow.

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**A/N: **Well, stylistically speaking, I'm less happy with this one. I found it very hard to pick up Alec's 'voice'. Please tell me how I went. Your honest opinions are always important to me.

_Please review._

At this point in time I feel I should mention that on my profile page I update how I'm going, and when new chapters can be expected. You can check there for when I expected to be able to update my stories.

_Please review._


	4. Logan

I was going to post this last, and put Adam's here, but I decided to switch. Adam/Zack will be last, which is a nice frame, with Max's at the start.

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**A little Sister's World - Logan**

Honestly, when you create a weapon that is able to think for itself, you have to expect it to do just that. Think. I'm not sure that's what they expected all their precious genetically engineered projects to do, though. Think.

Ironic that. Yet people who play god tend to forget that they aren't actually a divine being. They forget that not only are they mortal, and prone to making mistakes, but that by claiming divinity they are abasing themselves. May God forgive them, because sure as hell, no one else will. Not those who hate transgenics, not those who don't care, not those who believe in freedom of mind and body, and certainly not those they created. I doubt many of them will forgive themselves.

Strangely though, for all their plotting, they've managed to create not only something that thinks, breathes, and fights, but something real and beautiful, too. Life is wonderful, and they've duplicated it well. Not perfectly, as the transgenics are just as flawed as their creators, but beautiful nonetheless. Like the bad parent, they've turned out something that exceeds its origins.

Max.

Perhaps the most beautiful woman to walk the face of the planet. She's not the sweetest, nor is she the most generous, or giving person, but I sometimes wonder if she isn't among one of the most loving. People devote themselves to her and her cause, whatever it may be. I should know – I did.

She's always been loved, from the time she was able to remember. Sandeman, maybe, even if just for what she will one day do. Lydecker, in his own twisted way. Zack, with every breath he's ever taken. Alec even, in whatever passes for their abrasive relationship. Original Cindy, like a sister, and a true friend. Me, with anything I can offer. I would give Max the world if I thought it could help.

Love, they say, is something that is both inherent and learned. We could not love if we were not predisposed to do so, and the frightening attempts of those who were never taught, shows how much we gain from those who loved us. So Max's ability to love others, to care, is hardly inexplicable – even if it is amazing when you consider what it has survived. She never lost it, though she did try her hardest to suppress it for a long time.

Zack, therefore is the strange one. And Alec. And the others. Zack mostly. For one small dark eyed girl, he defied Manticore. He went against everything he'd ever been taught, everything he had ever known. He sent those directly under his command, his protection into a situation that was unknown and possibly highly dangerous. He must have been braver than anyone can credit him for.

I suppose Sandeman could have interfered along the way. A nudge here, a whispered comment there and he could have sparked something in Zack, something to keep his special project safe: protect at all costs. If so, then that one action changed the way the world operates drastically. He set in motion actions that no one could possibly predict. Whether or not it will be for the better is still unknown.

_I__n any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. _Theodore Roosevelt said that. Most of the universe has sat around and done nothing since the beginning of time. Even now that they've realised what has really happened, or think they have realised, they still do nothing. Nothing. Zack did something. Sandeman did something. Max is doing something. I've attempted to do things. Even Alec in his annoying way does something every time Max asks him.

Who started it? Truly? Someone, somewhere must have done something. Cause and effect. Why did Sandeman decide to save humans? Why did he choose Max to do that for him? How does Zack, Alec and everyone else fit into this picture?

Creating an entire army of genetically soldiers to hide one prophesised hero seems a little like overkill. If Max hadn't walked up to the breeding cult and whacked them in the face with her existence they never would have noticed until too late. Still, I suppose it is feasible that the transgenics are partially meant to be her bodyguards, her protection against those snake-loving bastards. However, giving them such a purpose reduces their right to existence: no one should exist as a means to an end, not even if that means is saving the world. What's the point of the big picture, if you forget about the individuals who make that picture up?

One last little niggling voice resides in me, if Max is meant to be the saviour of the world, where does that leave me? She carries so much on her shoulders now that in many ways it would be better for her if she had not met me. Then at least she'd still be looking out for herself and not everyone else. It worries me that she has such a burden, even with all those around her who are willing to take as much as they can.

She's all alone. I can't touch her. It seems to simple some times, just to reach out and touch her, give her something to touch back, yet I can't. I'd love to be able to hold her at night, to sleep curled up with her, give her something to cling to if she needed it. I know what it's like to feel like you're drowning and there's no one who can pull you up. I don't ever want Max to feel like that. Yet, I can't give her my hand to help keep her head above water. It makes me feel helpless and I don't want to think about what it does to her.

Max deserves all the earth has to give her and then some. I wish I had taken the chance to give her that when I did. All I have left to give her is my life and she can have that and everything that goes with it.

If I could give her more, I would. Perhaps, though, somewhere along the way the universe will give her back what it has taken. Maybe not now, and may be not for a long, long time, but eventually.

Max, you're tolling up a big one. Make it count.

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_Sticks and stones are hard on bones  
__Aimed with angry art  
__Words can sting like anything  
__But silence breaks the heart._

_Please review. Your honest opinions are always valued._


	5. Adam

**A/N:** Sorry I took so long. But here's the final part. It's written in present tense.

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**A Little Sister's World – Adam**

Adam sees the news about the transgenics and is confused. Everybody says they're bad, evil even, yet he _knows_ they are not. They're not sub-human, they're not super-human, and they're not not-human either. They just _are_.

How he knows this, Adam's not sure, because the only contact he's had with the transgenics is through the news. At least, he thinks that the only contact he's had is through the news. He can't remember. He really can't.

Maybe he did have some contact. Before, that is. Before he lost his memories, although that doesn't fit with what he has been told about the past. Apparently he's been here all the while, except for a brief period when he was in hospital in Seattle because of the accident.

Accident? It wasn't an accident, it was… 

But Adam doesn't know what it was, and it seems wrong to contradict Buddy after all he's done. Buddy and Mary have taken Adam in and cared for him, both before and after the accident. He just wishes he could remember 'before the accident'. Somehow, he supposes it isn't right for him to not know.

There's something he needs to be doing.

_There's someone who needs…_

_Someone?_

_No one._

_Everyone._

_Twelve._

An important number. He knows this like he knows… well, like he knows that transgenics aren't evil. Certainty accompanies the thought, but it is unexplained, unclear, like a flawed gem. Imperfect. Yet so very real.

He has amazing recall. Adam can remember anything he sees, cross-reference it and file it away until it's needed later. However, he can't remember Before.

If he remembered Before, would he know about the transgenics? What a scary thought. The entire world seems to want to kill them and everything that is reminiscent of them. So Adam thinks if he knows – knew – something about them he might wind up dead. He might anyway, just because he doesn't remember what it is he's supposed to remember.

But he doesn't know anything about transgenics! They escaped after he came to live on the farm. They only became newsworthy after he lost his memory. There is no way he could remember anything about them. It just isn't possible.

_There were other escapes._

Huh? Other escapes? Adam doesn't remember any other escapes and he knows it hasn't been on the news. Perfect recall is good for one thing at least, so he would remember if other escapes had been mentioned. And they definitely haven't. So were there other escapes or not?

The answer might frighten him. He's not a man who frightens easily. In fact, he would say he is nearly fearless, yet he is afraid of the gaping hole in his memory and what it might mean. Why Mary's gaze flickers uneasily to the dusty drive whenever he mentions his past, or Buddy limits how often he can go into town. Something bad? Or does he have an overactive imagination?

The former seems more likely, despite paranoia being the easiest explanation. The connection between Adam and the darkness that simmers in Seattle seems almost tangible at times. Something exists there that is important and dangerous. The only thing important and dangerous in Seattle these days is the place they call Freak Nation.

Terminal City stands dark and cold, reminding everyone of the danger, of the monsters that crawl in the night. The nomilies.

Nomilies? 

Yet, as grim and as dead as the city may seem, he knows it is not. The city is infinitely better. Better than what, he does not know – but it is better. Than a cage, maybe? Than scientists who view you as a project, an experiment? Than soldiers who regard you as nothing more or less than a highly sophisticated weapon?

'Sympathy for the devil,' they call it. Sympathy for the one who is evil. Pity, because you know that they can't entirely help being what they are: circumstance has intervened and blown them way off course. Fate is damning in that way, but not entirely omnipotent. The battle back to the right path will be long and hard, perhaps even unwinable. Still, they, the transgenics, fight nonetheless, and he finds he can respect that – from one soldier to another.

But he's not a soldier.__

Sympathy for the dark haired woman who leads Terminal City. They've shown her partial image, from when she rode a hoverdrone into a shop window to hold a bunch of people hostage.

_Shop? No, it was a messenger company._

Kinder people have pointed out that the only death that day, in the shop, was a transgenic who was shot by snipers from across the street. The transgenics could have killed their captives and fought their way through; yet it was the humans who started the killing, the fighting. "Monster who?" some people have begun to ask, just quietly – no names, no faces. The world is a cold, cruel place, but who made it that way, and who keeps it like that?

Some have called her a monster (_let he has no sin cast the first stone). _But she isn't. She is a loving woman who cares deeply for those around her. Her soul shines and her smile is bright even through the scars. Freedom is the most important gift that was ever given to her, and she's never forgotten who gave it to her, or why. She fights to live it everyday, to honour him.

She still doesn't use it the way he intended.

_No, that's wrong._

She uses it exactly the way he intended, but not in a way circumstance should allow. Not in the way that safety demands. As she does so, she learns that the greatest thing about freedom is you can share it without losing it. Freedom changes, and sometimes becomes crowded, but once freedom has been given it can never be taken away, not completely.

Adam doesn't know how he knows this. He just does. Much like he knows twelve is important, transgenics aren't bad, and there _has_ been more than one escape.

He was there. 

Some days it's a strange world out there. Adam wishes he remembers more about Before, because maybe then he'd understand.

_Baby sister…_

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